I so hope I don't offend anyone (if anyone is even reading this), but I'm so irritated I can't stand it. Let's start at the beginning...
Hoku and I have been together for 4 1/2 years. Married for 9 mths, we have 2 kids, house, cars, dog....we've definitely had our ups and downs, and have been through more than most people do in 10 years. But our life is pretty good. We have everything we need. We are healthy and our kids are healthy. but there is one thing that is not so good. Hoku smokes...PLEASE don't get me wrong. I DO NOT judge anyone who smokes. Actually I didn't have a problem with it AT ALL, until my dad, my friend, my hero, died April 7th, 2007. It was an accident that could happen to anyone. It has left a hole in my soul and my life that can NEVER be replaced. Coming up on the second anniversary, I'm having a harder time dealing with it this year, more so than last year. So, dealing with all this, I can not understand how Hoku would do something that he knows can/will hurt him. I understand its an addiction, I understand it must be hard. But going through and seeing what I've gone through losing my dad, you would like it would motivate you to be the best, healthiest person you can for your family. Is it really worth it? really? Is it worth it to possibly leave your kids without a father? Is it worth it to leave your wife alone? Is it worth it to become so sick, life everyday would be suffering? I don't understand. Life is unpredictable. Anyone of us could die today from an accident, illness, etc. So why would you do something on PURPOSE that you KNOW can kill you. I just don't see the reasoning. I'm not saying just quit. But you have to make the decision to quit. Just do it!! make the decision, ask for help and support. It is going to be a process. But won't that be worth it? Don't all of us want as much time w/ the ones we love as we can?
I hope no one is hurt or offended. My only intentions were to vent (thank you) and to gain some understanding........
2 comments:
Yeah... Kimmy you are back again! I miss you more than you know! I am sorry about Hoku. I wish it were as easy done as it is to say. Chris had this same problem you know, but he knew I couldn't be with someone that didn't care for there body. Now that he is a daddy he is so glad that he kicked the habit. Sharla is quiting with her husband, they have both smoked since a young age, and are motivating eachother to kick the habit for there kids. I am praying for them and I will pray for Hoku and your beautiful family. I love you Kim and I hope that you are well. We should really get together!
As for you Hoku, I have never really had an addiction before so I have no clue how hard it is for you. I do, However, know that Chris has never been as happy as he is now that he has stopped. He replaced smoking with another Oral addiction, sunflower seeds. He would come home from work with 52 ounce cups filled to the brim with sunflower seeds. it was gross but far better than the smell of smoke in the car.
Just keep motivationg him Kim and one day it will work. Maybe try to kick a habit of your own with him, if you have any that you don't like that is.
I love you, give me a call.
I have never personally smoked, but I do now from what others say it is hard to quit. Just encourage him and help him. But I think it does come down to him making the decision on his own.
It is good to vent. Good luck! And hang in there!
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