Friday, November 13, 2009

VOID....

There's a void in my life. And today it seems more pronouced. It hurts more. I feel it today more than normal. Why is that? I am missing and longing for someone today, more than I can put into words. Most days, I'm fine. It doesn't register everyday like it used to, but today...today I can't stop thinking of him. It's like someone has punched me in my stomach, like I can't fully catch my breath. I want to call him on the phone, I want him to see my beautiful children, I want him to be there when I have a bad day (like today) and tell me to quit being a "boob". I want him see my kids and laugh at all their quirky actions. I want them to know their Grandpa, and to KNOW how much he loves them. I want him to spoil them like he did me.
There's so much I WANT and KNOW i can't have. But I also know how much I HAVE. I KNOW all this, and yet, its just not enough today. I want to miss him today, and think of him, and long for him. Today, I HAVE A VOID, that nothing can fill.

2 comments:

Hanna in the House... said...

Oh Kim, My heart aches for you. I know that your Dad does see your beautiful children, and smiles down on them everyday.! I know that he is with you through all of your trials and your children's, as you go throughout your life. Your daddy would be proud of what a beautiful mother you have become! I love you, and hope that you get feeling better. Please, lets get together this week. No MORE EXCUSES! When is good for you?

Hanna in the House... said...

You are in my prayers tonight!