There's a void in my life. And today it seems more pronouced. It hurts more. I feel it today more than normal. Why is that? I am missing and longing for someone today, more than I can put into words. Most days, I'm fine. It doesn't register everyday like it used to, but today...today I can't stop thinking of him. It's like someone has punched me in my stomach, like I can't fully catch my breath. I want to call him on the phone, I want him to see my beautiful children, I want him to be there when I have a bad day (like today) and tell me to quit being a "boob". I want him see my kids and laugh at all their quirky actions. I want them to know their Grandpa, and to KNOW how much he loves them. I want him to spoil them like he did me.
There's so much I WANT and KNOW i can't have. But I also know how much I HAVE. I KNOW all this, and yet, its just not enough today. I want to miss him today, and think of him, and long for him. Today, I HAVE A VOID, that nothing can fill.